Joshua David Stein, reviewing Guy Fieri’s new restaurant in Times Square:
You are led by a cheery hostess—everyone who works at Guy’s American is very nice—past giant television screens showing an endless loop of Mr. Fieri opening his goatee-framed sphincter-mouth to welcome a panoply of fried matter, to a table or a booth built of such proportions that your feet dangle and you are infantilized by the scale. Immediately you will meet a tall dark stranger, and he will say to you, “Hey guys!”—a brilliant piece of linguistic co-branding. He will smile and you will order a drink that costs $15. This drink may be a Manhattan, which is surprisingly okay, or a spicy margarita, which is goonishly spicy and not okay at all.
This has got to be the harshest restaurant review I’ve ever read.